Which witch ?

th-2
Sylvia ? It’s me darling. Listen.
I want to ask the most enormous favour.
I’ve heard from Big Mac again! Yes !
He wants another seance –
still has issues around his career development plan
going forward.
He wants to come round tonight !
Just a little kitchen supper like before.
Could you have a word with Susie ?
See is she could make it as well –
and tell her to bring her leotard.
That Progressive Dance thing she does
really gets the spirits going.

No. My real problem is the food.
I’ve got some fenny snake in the freezer
and there are some newts’ eyes and frogs’ toes
left over from last time.
But I’m totally out of wolfs’ teeth and bats’ wool.
I don’t suppose you’ve got any, have you ?
And if you haven’t
could you teeter down to Waitrose and get some ?
They have some lovely artisanal stuffed bats
and you can pluck a bunch of fur
whenever you need it.

I’d go myself
but I have to collect Piers from his playgroup.

Be a darling.

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Hey Mister Tangerine Man

th

 

Hey, Mister Tangerine Man
build a wall for me,
I’m so weary of Hispanics
walkin’ over me.

Take me on a flight
to where all the guys are white
where the sunshine never ends
and the chicks are perfect tens
and they’re lustin’ all over me.

I’m ready to go anywhere,
believe the things you say;
keep Islamics well away
kiss Vlad Putin twice a day-
cast your golden spell my way.
I promise I’ll go under it.

The Donald Trump Drinking Game

The sheepdog- U A Fanthorpe