Man and Dog

Man

The dog plays football every day
with me, along the passageway.
We pass the ball from dog to man
and then from man to dog again.
I’m bored as hell. It pleases him
for dogs are slow and somewhat dim.

Dog

The man plays football every day
with me, along the passageway.
He tries so hard, it’s rather sweet
for one who’s blessed with two left feet.
It keeps him happy; I don’t mind.
I’ve grown quite fond of human kind.

Man and Dog

We both hate football.

How much happier we would be
watching cricket on tv.

Moments from a parallel universe

1.
Isac ! Your lunch is ready.
Stop moping in that orchard !
Go and wash your hands !
Unheard unseen
the apple falls.

2.
It’s a message, Will,
from the Queen.
She likes the play
but could you make Hamlet
a bit more cheerful……
and alive at the end..

3.
I shall call her Luisa.
If it had been a boy, my husband
would have called him Adolf.
4.
Honey, I got to stay late at the Oval Office tonight –
can’t make the theatre.
Okay Abe

News headlines- all genuine- all bizarre

“Puffin found at sex clinic dies “- BBC news

“Man hollows out wooden leg to smuggle iguana” – Independent

“Hens loose after crash” -Independent

“ Big knickers save house from fire” _ Yahoo

“ Runaway lawnmower kills Buddhist monk in Milton Keynes” – The Times

“ Prince Charles’ harpist denies burglary charges”- The Times

“ Grandmother on mobility scooter is savaged by ferret”- The Times