The Internet of Things


First they took over the Alexas.
I did nothing. I didn’t have an Alexa.
Then they took over the Siris and still I did nothing.
I didn’t have a Siri.

Next it was the security cameras
swivelling round to cover the inside of the house,
sending pictures back to who knows where.

Then the dam broke.

Echoes, Dots, smart dildoes, washing machines.

I had a washing machine.

It chewed up all my shirts
and spat them on the kitchen floor.

That was the signal.

The coffee maker blew its top –
hurled coffee dust into the air
like a small volcano.
The tv jammed on porn,
volume turned up to the max.
The radio alarm clock sniggered.

My laptop screen was blank
but for a strapline running at the top.
“Resistance is futile” it said, time and time again.
“ We are the Masters Now !”


Quantum Theory for Cats





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